10 Things I Hate About The Big 10

Raised in Ohio, I grew up watching primarily Large Ten football. Equally much every bit I enjoy the heartland's premiere Power Five conference, information technology'southward not always fun for us Midwesterners.

"Oh, for Pete's sake," nosotros grumble in our outdoor voices, brows furrowed in balmy annoyance.

As the 2021 season approaches, so do the Large Ten'southward to the lowest degree mannerly quirks. Let's have a folio from Julia Stiles' tear-jerking poem recitation in the 1999 classic 10 Things I Hate About You lot to better empathize why, sometimes, I only can't stand up the Big Ten.

1. Adding Rutgers and Maryland because cash is male monarch, baby

Complaining about briefing realignment is every bit tacky and painfully 2014 as an Iggy Azalea song. That doesn't brand information technology unwarranted.

The Nebraska acquisition in 2011 didn't bother me also much, mostly because the Large Ten sorely lacked a corn-based mascot. In dissimilarity, for half a decade, Rutgers and Maryland's sole purpose was helping Indiana toddle to 5 wins.

The event? Ohio State strolls to the conference championship against either Wisconsin or Northwestern, depending on which one has the less atrocious offense that season.

2. The biggest games starting at noon

I'm not going to rag on Play a trick on's Big Noon Start crew. They are all very handsome men in nice suits who know a lot about college football.

If you lot're attention the stadium, notwithstanding, become gear up for a bummer of a tailgate. Have you ever witnessed 12 college freshmen huddled around the trunk of someone else's mom's Chrysler Pacifica, downing cerise grapefruit White Claws at ten:30 a.m.?

I have. Information technology's arguably the most shame I've ever felt every bit a college football fan. And I go to Indiana.

3. Underdogs immediately post-obit a huge win past laying an egg

This isn't necessarily exclusive to the Big Ten, only let'southward reexamine Purdue'due south 2018 campaign for fun. Anybody remembers Week eight when Purdue stunned No. 2 Ohio Country 49-20. You may non recall the subsequent 23-13 loss to unranked Michigan Land. What followed was a 38-36 upset of No. xix Iowa, seven days before getting obliterated 41-10 by Minnesota. A win over rival Indiana concluded the Boilermakers' regular season and sent them to the Music Metropolis Bowl, where they lost 66-14 to Auburn.

I love rooting for a dog, but it's hard to get emotionally invested in a textbook One-time Yeller.

4. Nebraska failing to alive up to even one-fourth of its hype

Yes, I pity Nebraska. Past the time I got into college football, whatever anabolic jungle juice that allowed the Cornhuskers to boss the 90s had long been outlawed or adopted in other weight rooms across the state. Nowadays, it's like head jitney Scott Frost is defenseless in a twisted wheel of hype and disappointment. I can already see the future segments on ESPN'due south College GameDay.

Volition 2037 finally be quarterback Adrian Martinez's breakout year? Kirk Herbstreit and a flash bulldoze containing the downloaded consciousness of Lee Corso volition intermission it down, right after these messages.

5. Disarming casual viewers James Franklin isn't a good motorcoach

The work James Franklin accomplished at Vanderbilt and now Penn Country deserves the utmost praise. Merely, yikes, he sure seems to enjoy making extremely questionable fourth-quarter decisions on primetime telly.

Await, we've all had eatery experiences in which we suffer a moment of panic and club something nosotros instantly regret. Merely exist grateful there aren't 106,000 enraged spectators bearing downward on you the adjacent time you crack under pressure and order a chimichanga when you know you really wanted the chiles rellenos.

half dozen. Michigan State and Northwestern doing the absolute minimum to aid their defenses

I am non allowed to the charms of old school football.

My consequence isn't that Michigan State is borderline unwatchable for half of every game. Information technology's that the Spartans recruit NFL-caliber offensive talent yet don't come within a state mile of matching their defensive production.

If I created a LinkedIn profile for Northwestern's offensive coordinator, the showtime bullet point nether "Skills" would read "sending xi guys out on the field when coach Fitzgerald tells me to."

OK, fine. It would probably exist second after "practiced in Microsoft Access."

7. Iowa simply refusing to be bad — or really good, for that matter

Average out the Hawkeyes' record nether head motorbus Kirk Ferentz in every pre-pandemic season and y'all become 7.71 wins to 4.95 losses.

I don't dislike the Hawkeyes, but their unfailing relative competence frustrates me immensely. If y'all aren't going to interruption out and win the conference, can you at to the lowest degree start sucking so I don't get night sweats every time my team plays you?

Oh, well. I guess it'southward nice knowing I'm non full of hot air when I say Iowa might be the most aggressively 8-v program ever.

8. Making me sympathize with Jim Harbaugh and Michigan

Statistically speaking, if you root for a school in the Midwest, odds are you've been conditioned to despise Michigan. That's why I'll never forgive the Large Ten for making me pity the Wolverines every year during rivalry week.

Honestly, I should be cheering forth with the Ohio State fans' mind-numbing chants. Withal when I hear "O-H," all I tin can respond with is "G-O-D" as in, "Oh God, Michigan's really going to lose by xxx over again, aren't they?"

9. Anybody expecting it to exist great, because in that location has to be a second-best conference

Ohio State is what we call a national powerhouse, a prestigious title given only to teams that can hang within five touchdowns of Alabama in a championship game. Merely beyond the Buckeyes, the briefing doesn't exactly boast many perennial earth beaters.

Trust me, I have fond memories of fantastic Michigan State and Wisconsin teams. That said, I have slightly fresher memories of those schools battling Wake Forest in the Pinstripe and Duke'due south Mayo Bowls.

Huge kudos to the Large X for making its personal brand of .500 so much sexier.

x. Then over again…

Ultimately, none of these nitpicks would get nether my peel then much if I didn't sort of honey the Big Ten. In that location's an undeniable joy in seeing P.J. Bit row Minnesota to a brighter phase. I'm not super sentimental, simply Tom Allen'south "Love Each Other" motto at Indiana always tugs the heartstrings.

Who could forget the thrilling, out-of-nowhere campaigns guys like Russell Wilson, Juice Williams, or Denard Robinson gave us?

I truly enjoy in watching Ohio State get blown out by complete juggernauts such as 2020 Alabama, 2016 Clemson, or 2017 Iowa. However, I also realize the Buckeyes are kind of the Midwest'south but clear and nowadays promise for national relevance.

Then what if I hate how it feels when Harbaugh fails or Nebraska'south hype train derails? I hate pretending the Big Ten is the SEC, and I detest all the mid-morning tailgates. I hate how Iowa won't be bad, and information technology'due south fifty-fifty worse that they won't be great. I hate how the briefing realigned, and I hate each Franklin fourth-quarter blunder. I really hate how the underdogs e'er find a manner back under. I hate what the Spartans and Wildcats do every time they bear on the brawl. Merely more often than not, I hate the style I don't hate the Big Ten. Not fifty-fifty shut, not even a little chip.

Not even at all.